Monday, October 21, 2013

Ego Death -- An Archetypal Event (Part 2)

(If you haven't read Part 1 yet, go here: )

I'm standing there looking down at his smoking body, and look up just as the hands come back in...

(c) Mark Weaver, 2013
...and they grab my around the neck and lift me in the air the same way they'd done my friend.

(c) Mark Weaver, 2013

And I'm hanging there in the air, thinking, "This is it. I'm going to die. These hands are going to electro-juice me into oblivion." But instead, they took me out of the garage and lifted me high into the air over the landscape. I looked down and could see the garage and the trees and all the surrounding area. I could also see a road, and I noticed the hand that held me, taking me toward the road.

(c) Mark Weaver, 2013

As I came done to the earth, I saw a white van sitting on the road. The hand took me to the van and put me inside. As the dream ended, I sat in the van, looking down the road, which was well paved and bordered by manicured lawns. I felt I was going somewhere important.

(c) Mark Weaver, 2013
As that year progressed, I came upon some difficult circumstances. I became transient, couch surfing in a couple of places in the Twin Cities in Minnesota, and then eventually out to California where I ran out of money in LA and wound up in Santa Cruz, where I was homeless, sometimes sleeping in the woods nearby, and other times staying in homeless shelters.

Looking back at this incredible dream, I can see that it was a harbinger for the times coming, not to put me in fear and depression, but to help me understand that the events that followed that year and into the next were a necessary step in my own spiritual development.

My friend in the dream was my ego, that part of ourselves that accepts the reality of the sense- and experience-imprisoned brain, that has trouble believing anything that isn't blatantly, nearly ridiculously obvious, the part that feels anxious and worrisome whenever there seems to be a chance that we might act out of accordance with the blatantly obvious.

As I see it, my ego was standing in the way of my getting out of this garage--out of my current state of "maintenance"--and following the path of my genuine self. With the ego out of the way, I was freed to pursue this new road. The events that would come later that year and into the next were, indeed, a time of deepening my understanding of myself and the ways in which invisible, non-obvious promptings guide and direct and ask that we trust even if we don't understand.

What an incredible dream, and though something of a nightmare,  it helped me understand difficult and challenging experiences in a different light.

--artwork for this story is original and created by Mark Weaver. Please contact Mark if you would like to use the artwork for any purpose.